Hi, what'd I miss?

Avett Brothers Vs Hot Chip!!!!!

I've had this nagging feeling that I've been needing to do something for the past...I don't know, eight or nine months now....and I just remembered:  Death MATCH!!!

So I must first blame my partner for the delay (shes napping on the couch right now so she can't object).  We looked at our assignment and she declared "Hot Chip wins." and I said no you can't do that, we haven't listened to the Avett Brothers but she said that she didn't like the sound of their name (I bet she would have wanted to listen to them if they were called the Avett Sisters).  Plus Hot Chip is basically warmed over disco.  I gave AV a spin and kept telling Brooke that she needed to listen to them but she kept refusing.  I think she knew someone who liked them and she doesn't like that person, some kind of rational like that.


Anyway, I finally tricked her into listening to it one evening during dinner.  I said come on check out the opener with the lines "brooklyn, brooklyn let me in--you don't know the shape I'm in."  That could have been our theme song in our early cold, cold months here.  That made her smile for a minute, but she remained hard hearted towards the Brothers.


So that means the Hot Chips win!!!!!!

                                  
(  Much respect to the Avett Brothers, however, for such intense head-banging with a banjo.)



Ok, I know we're late but we're not the last ones are we???

No one has turned the street lights on yet.
I declare:  DEATH MATCH IS BACK ON!!!!!!!!

Joe & Brooke

Alright

I had entered into a marriage

In the summer of my twenty-first year

And the bells rang for our wedding

Only now do I remember it clear

Alright, alright, alright

E: Throughout history mankind has wondered about donuts.

A: No.

E: Right. Throughout history humans have wondered about donuts.

A: No.

E: Have you ever wondered about donuts?

A: Still no.

E: Webster’s defines donuts as…

A: Stop.

E: If you looked up “donuts” in the dictionary, you’d see a picture of…

A: Can’t I get away from work for just a short time?

No more a rake and no more a bachelor

I was wedded and it whetted my thirst

Until her womb start spilling out babies

Only then did I reckon my curse

Alright, alright, alright

Alright, alright, alright

E: Let’s play the analogy game.

A: What do you mean?

E: Think back to when we thought we knew all of the cool music. Maybe the 90s.

A: This isn’t going to be another exercise in cliché, is it?

E: Bear with me. Let’s say we were doing the Death Match then.

A: OK…but I’m still not on board.

E: We could have had “Doolittle” or “Fallow” or “Nevermind” or “OK Computer” or even “Out of Range.”

A: How did “Nevermind” get in there?

E: Never…

A: Stop.

E: Anyway…we got “Throwing Copper.” Or “A Pocketful of Kryptonite.”

A: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

E: Exactly.

A: I still don’t know what you’re talking about.

First came Isaiah with his crinkled little fingers

Then came Charlotte and that wretched girl Dawn

Ugly Myfanwy died on delivery

Mercifully taking her mother along

Alright, alright, alright

A: Did you put The Decemberists on your list?

E: No.

A: Why not?

E: I don’t know. But this show rocks.

A: Seriously.

E: Know what “The Rake’s Song” reminds me of?

A: What?

E: Total ripoff of Anathallo…in a good way. Love the synchronized percussion.

A: It’s kind of sad that all these bands we played with have made it big.

E: We?

A: We—circle of friends.

E: Sad?

A: Well…not sad…but…it’s hard to describe. Feist. Anathallo. Breathe Owl Breathe. The Beatles.

E: I’m going to vote for The Decemberists.

A: You can’t.

E: I don’t care…I’m going to. You want Beatrice to grow up asking, “Why did you vote for this crap when you could have picked The Decemberists?”

A: If zombie Brian Wilson walked out on stage to jam, then you could convince me, but until they put out a song to top “Help Me Rhonda,” I can’t go along with it.

E: It looks like it’s going to be a split decision then.

What can one do when one is widower

Shamefully saddled with three little pests

All that I wanted was the freedom of a new life

So my burden I began to divest

Alright, alright, alright

Alright, alright, alright

E: Let’s try the numbering system then.

A: OK.

E: Alright…“Donuts”…30 tracks? Are you kidding me? I read enough essays composed in the hope that I find the right answer hidden in there someone.

A: Now that I’ve told you what I think about donuts, what do *you* think about donuts?

E: Stop.

A: It’s like the wine box, “First of all, I’d like to thank you for buying our wine. Now that I have thanked you, let me introduce myself.”

E: Stop.

A: Fine. It wasn’t funny when you did it, either.

E: We’re doing the Death Match…let’s be serious for a minute.

A: Fine.

E: Let’s try Walkmen. Track 1: Dónde Está la Playa

A: I’m trying to listen to Low…don’t spoil it.

E: Track 1: Too much dissonance. Too little interest. 2/5.

A: I’d rather grade this essay.

E: Track 2…what the…did I repeat track 1? Nope. 2/5

A: I feel like I’ve heard all of this before. I’m voting for Low.

E: You can’t.

A: “Drums and Guns” slides in under the 5 year deadline.

E: You can’t. It’s not one of our choices.

A: I don’t care. I’m voting for it.

E: If they had a track with Clarence Clemons and Kenny G, I’d be on board…but I can’t.

A: It looks like it’s going to be a split decision.

Charlotte I buried after feeding her foxglove

Dawn was easy, she was drowned in the bath

Isaiah fought but was easily bested

Burned his body for incurring my wrath

Alright, alright, alright

A: Are we going to saying anything about the bands in our review?

E: Nobody else has.

A: Really?

E: I don’t remember…it’s been about a month since the last review. What’s taking everyone so long?

A: Ummm…

E: Oh. Bad question.

A: Yeah.

E: I bet we beat Joe and Brooke.

A: Yeah, but they’re review will be good.

E: What do you want, quality or slightly less slowness?

A: And fix that. I know the difference between “there” “their” and “they’re.”

E: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

A: This is like going to the Vac Shack only to find that the choices are limited to dirty, used models that have bugs on them.

E: We could have had the ElectroLux.

A: But that’s a thousand bucks.

E: I thought you said you wanted a good vacuum?

A: Can you believe that guy?

E: I know. Doesn’t say a thing about the different models, and then points out that we should really buy the twelve hundred dollar model rather than his crappy fifty buck thing.

A: Too bad the twelve hundred dollar model was already knocked out by Ferraby Lionheart.

E: And the thousand dollar model was knocked out because it wasn’t quite as good as the twelve hundred dollar “Left and Leaving” model.

A: I don’t think anyone is going to get this.

E: See, this is what I like about marriage.

A: What are you talking about?

E: As Carol says, “Relationships are sustained jokes.”

A: Better explain that one.

E: Inside jokes. Things that become funny due to familiarity.

A: Are you saying we should listen to the albums again to see if we like them more and more with another listen?

E: We’ll never know. I’ve had enough of “Throwing Copper.”

And that's how I came your humble narrator

To be living so easy and free

Expect you think that I should be haunted

But it never really bothers me

Alright, alright, alright

Alright, alright, alright

E: Let’s make a choice.

A: Clarence Clemons.

E: Zombie Brian Wilson.

A: Or should we follow the rules?

E: Alright.

A: So?

E: You & Me?

A: Why?

E: There is some good stuff. I like “On the Water.”

A: That’s alright. What else?

E: I like “The Rake’s Song.”

A: Wrong band. You got it mixed in with your play list.

E: Donuts?

A: The songs are too short.

E: I swear, “Workinonit” has a sample from “Pole Position.” How cool is that?

A: Ummm…

E: Trust me. It’s cool.

A: Sure.

E: Though it does jump around too much for either of us to handle, the album is clever and creative.

A: I can buy that.

E: Still…30 tracks? Seriously?

A: Make up your mind.

E: Donuts?

A: Alright.

E: Alright.

A: Alright.

Bums vs. Donuts

While I own and have at various times enjoyed both of these albums, they’re just not doing it for me right now. I keep thinking that, instead, I’d rather be enjoying actual doughnuts or nakedness. Generally speaking, I enjoy doughnuts in the morning and nakedness at night, but I suppose I have occasionally enjoyed nakedness in the morning and doughnuts at night (in both cases with Karl I believe). Either way, that just leaves afternoons for listening to these records.


The Sigur Ros album (I’m not even going to try; I’ll just call it Bums), starts off promisingly. A reviewer wrote that it sounds like Sigur Ros channeling Animal Collective, which is pretty awesome (both the channeling and the comparison). In my mind, the first two songs are easily the best on Bums, and the album does keep up steam until we hit the beginning of “Festival”. Let me first state that the end of the song--you know where that bass kicks in—is pretty rad (that’s right, rad). But my goodness, the first four and a half minutes are a slog to get through. Even though he’s singin in Icelandic, the beginning of this song sets off my “this sounds like it could be in a musical” alarm. The next tune, “Aksdfjdk” (okay, that's not the real name, it's just the keys my fingers hit) isn’t bad, but it begins the second phase of the album, all of it slow and not nearly as Animal Collective-like. We continue on with the worst song on Bums, “Ava Batur”, which definitely sounds like it could be in a musical and is so overdone with the boys choir and whatnot that it becomes almost a parody of itself. The last few songs are all individually pretty, but together they just drag. I think Bums would be so much better if the they had done a better job of sequencing the album or recording one or two more peppy songs to include towards the end. I can understand their thinking--“Let’s put all the super-amazing songs together at the beginning so it totally grabs the listener, and even if they listen to the rest of the album, they’ll probably just remember that”—and that might fly most of the time, but not if you want to make it in Death Match.



Whereas Bums is pretty uneven, Donuts is about as even as you can get. It consists of thirty-one tracks, each of which lasts on average about a minute and a half and which sound, at least to my ears, almost identical. The whole album is full of interesting and well-put together samples. On the whole, this reminds me of DJ Shadow, but while DJ Shadow takes time to develop ideas, Jay Dee/J Dilla (whatever) seems to delight in moving to the next sample before you’ve had time to really hear the first one. I personally feel like I have ADD when I listen to this record, which I suppose gives me more empathy for some of my students. Basically, I really enjoy this album if I only listen to a few tracks at time.

One final note: this album definitely has a cool factor. You know what I mean. If I were twenty-four, driving around on a summer day, wanting to impress the ladies—this is totally the album I would be bangin. I bring this up because my hesitation on this record might just be because I’m not hip enough to get it. I know that may sound like a back-handed criticism, but I really don’t mean it that way. What I really do mean is that this album might be over my head. I mean, here I am comparing it to DJ Shadow, but I really have no idea if that’s an apt comparison or not. I’m just not familiar enough with this genre to know how cutting edge or how derivative Donuts is. Sometimes I think, who cares? You either like it or you don’t. But other times I think that it’s worth taking the time to try and figure it out.
So I’m passing on Bums and I'm passing Donuts on. First of all, then Sarah or someone can explain to me why Donuts is great (or not). Second, sometimes you just got to go with the underdawg. Third, Bums is on Karl's list.