E: Throughout history mankind has wondered about donuts.
A: No.
E: Right. Throughout history humans have wondered about donuts.
A: No.
E: Have you ever wondered about donuts?
A: Still no.
E: Webster’s defines donuts as…
A: Stop.
E: If you looked up “donuts” in the dictionary, you’d see a picture of…
A: Can’t I get away from work for just a short time?
E: Let’s play the analogy game.
A: What do you mean?
E: Think back to when we thought we knew all of the cool music. Maybe the 90s.
A: This isn’t going to be another exercise in cliché, is it?
E: Bear with me. Let’s say we were doing the Death Match then.
A: OK…but I’m still not on board.
E: We could have had “Doolittle” or “Fallow” or “Nevermind” or “OK Computer” or even “Out of Range.”
A: How did “Nevermind” get in there?
E: Never…
A: Stop.
E: Anyway…we got “Throwing Copper.” Or “A Pocketful of Kryptonite.”
A: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
E: Exactly.
A: I still don’t know what you’re talking about.
A: Did you put The Decemberists on your list?
E: No.
A: Why not?
E: I don’t know. But this show rocks.
A: Seriously.
E: Know what “The Rake’s Song” reminds me of?
A: What?
E: Total ripoff of Anathallo…in a good way. Love the synchronized percussion.
A: It’s kind of sad that all these bands we played with have made it big.
E: We?
A: We—circle of friends.
E: Sad?
A: Well…not sad…but…it’s hard to describe. Feist. Anathallo. Breathe Owl Breathe. The Beatles.
E: I’m going to vote for The Decemberists.
A: You can’t.
E: I don’t care…I’m going to. You want Beatrice to grow up asking, “Why did you vote for this crap when you could have picked The Decemberists?”
A: If zombie Brian Wilson walked out on stage to jam, then you could convince me, but until they put out a song to top “Help Me Rhonda,” I can’t go along with it.
E: It looks like it’s going to be a split decision then.
E: Let’s try the numbering system then.
A: OK.
E: Alright…“Donuts”…30 tracks? Are you kidding me? I read enough essays composed in the hope that I find the right answer hidden in there someone.
A: Now that I’ve told you what I think about donuts, what do *you* think about donuts?
E: Stop.
A: It’s like the wine box, “First of all, I’d like to thank you for buying our wine. Now that I have thanked you, let me introduce myself.”
E: Stop.
A: Fine. It wasn’t funny when you did it, either.
E: We’re doing the Death Match…let’s be serious for a minute.
A: Fine.
E: Let’s try Walkmen. Track 1: Dónde Está la Playa
A: I’m trying to listen to Low…don’t spoil it.
E: Track 1: Too much dissonance. Too little interest. 2/5.
A: I’d rather grade this essay.
E: Track 2…what the…did I repeat track 1? Nope. 2/5
A: I feel like I’ve heard all of this before. I’m voting for Low.
E: You can’t.
A: “Drums and Guns” slides in under the 5 year deadline.
E: You can’t. It’s not one of our choices.
A: I don’t care. I’m voting for it.
E: If they had a track with Clarence Clemons and Kenny G, I’d be on board…but I can’t.
A: It looks like it’s going to be a split decision.
A: Are we going to saying anything about the bands in our review?
E: Nobody else has.
A: Really?
E: I don’t remember…it’s been about a month since the last review. What’s taking everyone so long?
A: Ummm…
E: Oh. Bad question.
A: Yeah.
E: I bet we beat Joe and Brooke.
A: Yeah, but they’re review will be good.
E: What do you want, quality or slightly less slowness?
A: And fix that. I know the difference between “there” “their” and “they’re.”
E: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
A: This is like going to the Vac Shack only to find that the choices are limited to dirty, used models that have bugs on them.
E: We could have had the ElectroLux.
A: But that’s a thousand bucks.
E: I thought you said you wanted a good vacuum?
A: Can you believe that guy?
E: I know. Doesn’t say a thing about the different models, and then points out that we should really buy the twelve hundred dollar model rather than his crappy fifty buck thing.
A: Too bad the twelve hundred dollar model was already knocked out by Ferraby Lionheart.
E: And the thousand dollar model was knocked out because it wasn’t quite as good as the twelve hundred dollar “Left and Leaving” model.
A: I don’t think anyone is going to get this.
E: See, this is what I like about marriage.
A: What are you talking about?
E: As Carol says, “Relationships are sustained jokes.”
A: Better explain that one.
E: Inside jokes. Things that become funny due to familiarity.
A: Are you saying we should listen to the albums again to see if we like them more and more with another listen?
E: We’ll never know. I’ve had enough of “Throwing Copper.”
A: Clarence Clemons.
E: Zombie Brian Wilson.
A: Or should we follow the rules?
E: Alright.
A: So?
E: You & Me?
A: Why?
E: There is some good stuff. I like “On the Water.”
A: That’s alright. What else?
E: I like “The Rake’s Song.”
A: Wrong band. You got it mixed in with your play list.
E: Donuts?
A: The songs are too short.
E: I swear, “Workinonit” has a sample from “Pole Position.” How cool is that?
A: Ummm…
E: Trust me. It’s cool.
A: Sure.
E: Though it does jump around too much for either of us to handle, the album is clever and creative.
A: I can buy that.
E: Still…30 tracks? Seriously?
A: Make up your mind.
E: Donuts?
A: Alright.
E: Alright.
A: Alright.
I'm not sure I follow it all, but I am more than pleased with the conclusion.
ReplyDeleteWhat's not to follow about stream of consciousness somewhat nonfictional conversations between spouses? And no, we still haven't bought a new vacuum yet. Or decided to like either of these albums more than our now-dead favorites.
ReplyDeleteWhat's not to follow indeed. Also like.
ReplyDelete